E41 Chores for Children: Building Responsibility from the Start

Why Even Young Children Should Be Doing Chores (Yes, Even Your Toddler!)

Let’s be real—parenting isn’t easy. But even in the chaos, I can say that it’s one of the most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I love being a mom, and I’m so grateful for the little lives I’ve been entrusted with.

That said, I don’t know what it’s like in your house, but right now, if I’m out of my two-year-old’s sight, it’s borderline panic. If Mommy is home, he wants to see Mommy. As flattering as that is, I also want to raise a child who’s independent and responsible—who can function confidently without me standing beside him.

And yes, I know… he just turned two. But even now, I find myself asking: What habits can I start now that will help my kids grow into capable, thoughtful adults—not just thinkers, but doers, too?

So today, I want to talk about something simple… but incredibly powerful: chores.

Why Chores Matter, Even for Toddlers

I know, I know. The word “chores” might instantly bring back memories of your own childhood—grumbling about cleaning your room, arguing over whose turn it was to do the dishes (in our house growing up, it was based on even and odd days!).

But what if I told you that chores—yes, even for toddlers and preschoolers—are one of the strongest tools we have for raising responsible, independent kids?

The Research

A long-term study out of the University of Minnesota, led by Dr. Marty Rossmann, followed kids over two decades and found that children who began doing chores as young as age 3 or 4 were more likely to be successful as adults. And success wasn’t just about grades or income—it included stronger relationships and better coping skills.

Want even more research? The Harvard Grant Study, which began in 1938 and is one of the longest-running longitudinal studies ever conducted, came to a striking conclusion: relationships were the single biggest predictor of life satisfaction—and the second? A strong work ethic.

And how do we build work ethic early? We give children the opportunity to contribute.

Julie Lythcott-Haims, author of How to Raise an Adult, adds that chores teach children a fundamental truth: if you’re part of a family, you help out. Kids who don’t develop this understanding often struggle with “adulting” later on. In short: Chores build confidence, connection, accountability and capability. The earlier we start, the more natural it feels.

What Chores Can Kids Do (And When)?

If you're wondering what chores are appropriate at what age, here’s a breakdown with ideas that are not only doable—but developmentally spot-on:

Toddlers (Ages 1.5–3):

• Put toys back in bins (especially helpful if it becomes part of the routine!)
• Hand you laundry from the dryer (We were doing this just this morning!)
• Put spoons into the silverware drawer (no sharp objects, of course)
• Wipe up spills with a small towel (surprisingly fun for them!)
• Unload the dishwasher with supervision

➡️ My own two-year-old helps me unload the dishwasher (minus the sharp knives, of course) and he loves putting the little soap packet into the compartment before we start a load. That small job makes him so happy because he knows he’s helping.

Preschoolers (Ages 3–5):

• Make their bed (even if it’s messy—resist the urge to fix it... at least most of the time... I struggle with this!)
• Fold pajamas, hand towels, or washcloths
• Help set or clear the table
• Water houseplants or feed a pet
• Clean up toys or books at the end of the day

➡️ My four-year-old daughter folds her pajamas and is expected to make her bed every morning. She helps tidy up the living room and her bedroom at the end of the day. It’s still a work in progress.

Early Elementary (Ages 6–8):

• Vacuum or sweep small areas
• Wipe down counters or windows
• Pack their own lunch (with guidance)
• Feed or walk the dog (with supervision)

As they grow, so can the responsibilities—doing their own laundry, cooking a simple meal, mowing the lawn. But at every stage, the goal isn’t perfection—it’s participation.

It’s About Building Habits, Not Perfect Chores

The hardest part for me? Letting go of my desire for things to be done my way. When my daughter folds her pajamas, they’re… not quite drawer-ready. When my son unloads the dishwasher, he sometimes tries to grab too many plates at once and I have to jump in. But you know what? That’s okay.

They’re learning. They’re helping. They’re proud.

And that’s the point.

It’s so tempting, especially when we’re exhausted or rushed, to say, “I’ll just do it myself.” But when we do that too often, we unintentionally send the message that their help isn’t needed—or worse, that they’re not capable.

Giving children chores is one way we say:
“You belong here.”
“You are capable.”
“We are a team.”

Start Small, and Stick With It

If chores aren’t yet a part of your routine, no worries. Start small. Choose one or two tasks and help your child take ownership of them. Celebrate the effort—not the result.

And if you are already on this journey: keep going. It may feel inconsistent or messy sometimes, but I promise those small steps are adding up to something big.

Let’s raise kids who don’t just know how to think, but who know how to contribute, too.

If this post was helpful, I’d love for you to share it with a friend or come say hi in the Raising Thinkers Community—it’s free to join and full of encouragement, ideas, and support. And if you’re looking for ways to help your child grow in math and critical thinking, check out our Raising Mathematicians subscription, with practical tools and video lessons you can use at home.

Thanks for being here, and keep up the amazing (and sometimes messy!) work of raising thoughtful, helpful, capable kids.